On December 20, 2008 my life changed forever! Around 8:45 that night I got a phone call from my nephew saying Cary was just in an accident and they are flying him to STLU hospital. Cary is my 19 year old son that had a smile that was contagious, he loved life to the fullest, and to me was perfect. But what mom would not say that about their son. His sisters and I with a few other family members all met at the hospital. We get told he was in surgery and they will let us know. While waiting they have the Chaplin come in and I just knew it was bad not realizing just how bad. His main nurse came in and said he made it through surgery and is doing better that they are gonna take us up to icu so when he comes out we can see him. I had prepared my self for the worst and at this point my hopes has raised just a little not thinking is was as bad as I thought. We get up to the 6th floor and we are not there very long at all, maybe 5 minutes, and a nurse comes running we need his mom and and one other person. I go running back with the nurse and my nephew that called me and the first thing I heard was resuscitation is not a valid option and seeing a flat line, then there is a man counting 12 .. 13 .. 14, about that time my daughter came running back and asked what in the hell are you counting and he replied "minutes dead". He was so cold and white -- my son was gone -- my 19 year old baby was gone. No more would I hear the words "mom i love you sweet dreams" which he told me every night. That knock on the door to come chat with me, the beautiful smile, and that picking on me - just miss him so much. I lost all of that because of a drunk driver, a 44 year old man that could not follow the rules of the road or courts. This sweet son was taken because the drunk could not stop drinking. He has sons that he can see, hear their voice, and visit. My family and I don't get that chance - to see Cary we have to look at a picture - to hear his voice we have to listen to his voice mail -- and to visit we have to go to the cemetery. I don't wish any pain like I have on any one not even the drunk but does he really realize what he took from us. We will never get the chance for grandchildren from Cary, we did not get to see what he made of him self as he did not even get to grow up. We are so lost and empty as a family it is like a piece of our heart was taken out. Words can not describe the pain and feeling of loss we have for Cary. If any of you would of had the chance to meet him you would understand -- his bubbly personality was contagious -- you could not help but laugh and enjoy his company. But we don't get to enjoy nothing but memories any more as the drunk took all of that away by drinking and was given a chance in the past and was put on probation and what good did that do - none - he killed my son. The drunk needs to be given the maximum sentence possible. Make an example out of this person (don't man to call him a man as a man would of been responsible enough not to drink and drive) and let people know that we are not going to let drunk drivers take our children. This is his 3rd strike -- he got tickets for dwi and fined that did not work -- he was put on probation for dwi and that did not work and now he killed my son due to a dwi. Everyday he stays in jail is a child saved and an example made! Lets send the message to drivers we are not going to let you kill our children due to driving drunk. Put him away for the longest possible time and save our children.
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April 6, 2015 was a beautiful day in Oklahoma. The temperature was in the mid 70’s, the wind was not gusting and it often does. Working as a customer service rep I had weird days off so even though it was Monday it was my Thursday. I was eager for it to be 4:30 because I had agreed to watch my granddaughter Ruby so that my Son Jason and Daughter in law Shannon could go out. They both worked for KFC so they had weird hours and days off. Their schedule was different every week so they seldom got a day off together. Jason had told me they would drop Ruby off at 7 that night. When I got in my car I immediately called Jason and told him to get Ruby ready I was going to kidnap her.
Jason is a character and we usually bickered when we talked to each other. It was just our way and all of it was filled with love. Jason reminded me they were dropping her off. I told him I didn’t care, I want my girl now. I want to fix her dinner and play with her. He reminded me they were spending time with her. I reminded him they had her all day it was my turn. I heard Ruby screaming that scream that meant I heard Grammy’s ringtone! He gave her the phone and gibbered at me for a few seconds and hung up. Jason called me right back, gave her the phone again gibberish and a hang up. The 4th time as I answered I was yelling, “don’t give her the phone I am getting on the interstate and can’t answer it.” Jason asked if I had on the earbuds he gave me. I told him of course, he made me promise not to talk on the phone while driving unless I did. He said “Mom, the speaker box on the cord, squeeze it and it will answer the phone. I told him I didn’t believe him so I squeezed it. I hung up on Jason. He called me back and I squeezed it and it answered the phone. I was so excited and told him so. He laughed and said “Mom you’re a moron. You work for a cell phone company and you didn’t know this?” We argued back and forth about this for the next 10 minutes. I announced to him, Jason I am at Reno and Council is my girl ready? He had a smart remark and we argued some more about the fact I wasn’t getting out of my car. I was tired, they lived upstairs, and I am old. All the excuses gave him more ammo as I announced each intersection I came to. Finally I parked outside their apartment. He was on the balcony and I waved to him. I told him I loved him as we hung up. Shannon brought Ruby to my car and we talked very briefly as she buckled Ruby in. She was moving slow and I asked her why. She told me her back hurt. I asked “are you still going out?” She said, “Mom, it is Fast and Furious 7 what do you think?” I laughed told her to have fun and drove off with Ruby snug in her car seat. She chattered all the way along the mile drive to our apartment. I laughed and chatted with her the whole way. At my apartment Ruby almost ran to my apartment. She knew the way to my door with no help. She was eager to see the dogs and her Gram’pa. When I opened the door the dogs scrambled to make sure their tails were not in her reach while still barking and dancing their hello to her. She screamed with delight as she ran down the hall towards Gram’pa room where her computer was. She always had to make sure all her videos were still safely waiting for her. I remember Cliff, as this was a surprise to him, screaming Damn, I don’t have her computer turned on! While he entertained Ruby I changed clothes and gave Molly and Neville their treats. I checked the kitchen and told Cliff I had everything to make her favorite dinner except ham. He gladly volunteered to go get the ham. Neither of us spoiled her. When he left Ruby immediately began to test me. I had a candy dish she would not leave alone. I refused to put it up high, I always believed a baby should learn limits. She left everything else alone, but this one dish was a game to her. I wound up putting her in the time out corner. She was fine whimpered now and then to let me know she wasn’t happy with me but no crying. UNTIL, the door opened and Gram’pa came in. Then she began to “cry” and scream as though I had just beat her with a belt! Oh if that drama queen could muster tears with that fake cry I would not survive! And Gram’pa was no help. Did that mean ole Grammy put you in the corner again! Gram’pa had Ruby time while I cooked her favorite dinner. Ham Steak, Mac and Cheese, and Green Beans. After dinner Gram’pa cleaned the computer and I played with Ruby. I remember vividly holding her as we danced to the Gummy Bear song. I remember telling Ruby the song needed to be shorter because she was getting heavy. At 9:00 I went to bed because I had to get up at 4:30. Bedtime was fun time. I would get in bed and Ruby would crawl in to cuddle. I told her Grammy has to sleep now to you want to go to sleep too? She would quickly kiss me and jump off the bed. As she left the room she would pull the door almost shut and run to Gram’pa. In a few minutes I would hear tapping on the door. I would say “yes Ruby” and the door would fly open and she would come give me more cuddles and kisses then repeat the process. It would go on until I no longer responded to the tapping. She would then go and throw her arms around pointing at my door as she chattered to her Gram’pa. Her way of telling him Grammy is asleep and you need to shut her door. He knew this because if he doesn’t shut my door, she would throw a fit. At 4:30 my alarm went off. I climbed out of bed and made my way to the kitchen. As I fixed myself a cup of coffee Cliff came in. I asked him what time did the kids get Ruby. “Between 10:30, 10:45.” Did they have fun? “Yes they did. They were giggling like little school girls.” How was Ruby? “She was okay but her acid re-flux was acting up. No medicine in the bag but Shannon said they were out. They were going by Walmart from here and would get some.” We both laughed, yeah, they think Walmart is Disneyland. When do they not go there? I asked one last question, “Do we have Ruby tonight?” Cliff said he didn’t think so. I told him, I think I will call the kids later and kidnap her so she can spend the night. Cliff agreed and said just in case her computer would be on. I went to my room, fired up the computer, turned the TV to 9 so I could hear the weather. I sat down to smoke a cigarette, drink some coffee and scan Facebook. I am in such a good mood. It’s the worlds Tuesday, but it is Friday to me and at 4:30 I am free for two whole days, the weather is great and I will have my Ruby! I know we are going to the park and for walks. At 5:15 I head to my closet and stand staring at my clothes as though something will jump off the hanger and yell me, take me! As I stood there I can hear the news. For the second night in a row there was a fatality crash in the metro area due to an alleged drunk driver. I thought how sad. This one happened at the intersection of Reno and Rockwell approximately 11:20 pm. My heart skipped a beat, my mind raced, would that be about the time the kids would be in that intersection? I knew they would be, they went to Walmart. A female approximately 30 years old died instantly. There are a million women in Oklahoma City, stay calm. A male approximately 30 years old died in route to the hospital. They always come in pairs, stay calm an approximately 2 year old baby is in critical condition undergoing surgery at Children Hospital. I remember taking a deep breath and turning to see the TV. I don’t remember what they were saying, I only remember seeing just the back end of yellow Chevy Cobalt sticking out of that ditch. I know that ditch, it’s about 8 or 9 feet deep. I know that intersection. I drive through it daily. But worst of all, I know that car! I see it every day. It needs to be cleaned out. A pink car seat is behind the passenger door. The air conditioner doesn’t work. I know that car. I grabbed my phone and I called Jason’s phone. No answer. I call Shannon’s phone. No answer. After 5 tries each I left a message for Jason. I will never forget that message. “Damn it to hell Jason Robert I am scared to death right now! As soon as you get this message you better call me!” I called the house phone. It doesn’t have voice mail. No answering machine. I let it ring at least 50 times. They didn’t wake up. I know for a fact Jason won’t be calling me back. He will never call me again. I somehow made my way to the living room. I needed to tell Cliff our kids are dead and Ruby needs us. I hang onto the back of the love seat for dear life as I start to tell him. He heard the news but didn’t see it. He was in the kitchen making my lunch. I opened my mouth to calmly speak but what came out was a shaky scream, “Our babies Cliff, our babies!” He came out of the kitchen and stared at me like I was crazy. He told me to stop it, “you know you’re a pessimist. It isn’t our kids.” Again I try to calmly explain. Again a scream, but this time. “The car the car the car.” Cliff told me he was going to their apartment and when he found their car safe and secure in the parking lot he was going to come home and tell me what an idiot I am. In my family you don’t call each other an idiot. Today I just looked at him and said, “Please call me an idiot. I told him wait I will go with you. He told me no, you stay here and get dressed, you’re going to work! When Cliff left I got dressed. I picked up the clothes I had worn the day before from the laundry hamper. The shirt had coffee on it where I had spilled the day before. I didn’t care. I called the Oklahoma City police non-emergency number. I had done this before. You ask about a crash you think a family member might be involved in and they say, “I am sorry, we can’t give out information.” That would prove my kids are alive. When a sweet girl answered I asked, the crash last night, the one at Reno and Rockwell, was the drivers name Jason? I held my breath and prayed. The sweet voice said, “Ma’am can we send an officer to your home?” I screamed again, this time it was “NO NO YOU CAN’T I am home alone, no you can’t come here, I need my husband. NO” My babies are dead. My babies are dead and my husband is gone. Cliff finally calls me. He said you need to call children hospital. I said you need to come home, you need to come home now. He told me he was at Reno and Rockwell. The news crew there are showing him the raw footage. Cliff come home now, Ruby needs us. He promises, I wait and pace. I try to call the hospital but the phone will not work. I begin screaming. My neighbors I have never met come running to me. I don’t care, my phone won’t work for me. I can’t do this, I don’t want to do this. I need to wake up because this nightmare is horrible. Cliff comes home and we leave immediately for the hospital. He wants to change, I tell him no. Ruby needs us now. As we drive to the hospital we discuss what shape Ruby will be in. She might be physically and mentally handicapped. She may not be that brilliant little baby we had with us just last night. We need an attorney to get custody of her. There is no way in hell Shannon’s family is getting her. She is ours and I will fight to the death to keep her with us. She doesn’t even know Shannon’s family. Cliff continues to point out what could be wrong with Ruby. I finally yelled at him, I don’t care what might be wrong, she is STILL my girl and I will take what I can get PERIOD. He said good, I hoped you felt like I do. I drove faster. When we got to the hospital I found a nurse leaving. I asked her where the surgery area was. She started pointing. I said NO my granddaughter was brought in from a crash last night I have to find her. She said come on I will take you there. We waited as she went in. She came out and said she was taken to PICU. Thank you God, she made it through surgery. She is a very sick girl to be in PICU, but alive at least. At the PICU they had us wait in the waiting room. After 10 minutes I had to see my girl. I didn’t know that they were waiting for a doctor or someone in charge. I didn’t care. I didn’t know they couldn’t talk to me, but I just needed to see her. I told Cliff that door opens again I am going in. He said we can’t. I told him you have two choices here, go in with me or wait out here alone, I am going in. And I did. I walked up the first nurse I saw. I held a picture of my girl up to her face and asked her, is this the baby that was brought in last night. She nodded yes. Can I see her? She shook her head no. I am her grandmother can I please see her? She shook her head no. Why? She just started at me. Is my baby here? She started at me. Is she okay? She stared. Is my baby dead? She nodded yes. This time I heard someone screaming. It was loud, it was shrill, and it was horrible. I remember wondering why they didn’t shut that idiot up. There are sick babies her shut her up. As they picked me up off the floor and placed me in a wheelchair I realized I was the one screaming. On May 10, 2012 at about 7:15 I woke up to find that my husband had not returned home after our phone call the night before at 11:30. He said I'll be home soon just waiting for his friend to punch out. I woke up and immidiately called his cell phone to it being off. I started to worry and began calling police stations. At about 7:30 two black unmarked cars pulled in my driveway and two detectives from the Macomb County Sheriffs Department were at my doorway. They had asked if they could come in, and then asked me a few personal questions, and I had stated that I was his wife. They had then asked me to remove my child (2 years old) and she wouln't leave my side,I was also 6 months pregnant with our second child, I began getting frustrated because they hadnt told me why they were here. They then asked me to sit down and I told them I was okay. They preceeded to tell me that my husband was involved in an accident at 3:00 a.m a block away from my house. I instantly lost it and starting crying as hard as i could, they had asked me to identify his body, I couldnt do it..I called my mom imediately and told her that Matt was hit and killed. My mom got there about 15 mins later and identified the photo to be my husband Matthew John Thompson. They began telling me that he was hit by a drunk driver, and he had hit my husband and then ran into a culvert, he then left the vehicle and walked up to one of the witnesses and asked if he could get a ride to his buddies house, when the witness asked him what he hit, he replied "I dont know but I took it out good" After the witness told him no to giving him a ride he began to walk towards where I lived. Another witness drove up to scene and found my husband in a pool of blood, She called 911 along with the other witness. Police showed up at about 3:30 a.m with the police dog to track down the drunk driver. They found him at about5:00 a.m underneith a car two streets away from our home, saying you have the wrong guy, I saw him in the front of the park. When taken to the hospital it was shown he had only a blood alcohol level of .08 just the legal limit, He was booked and held until arraignment. On May 12, 2012 I saw my husband for the first time since the day he was killed. I couldn't believe it was really him, I told everyone this is not him, this looks nothing like him, he had so much makeup on to cover his bruises and he had a mesh finger because it had been broken, I had a hard time dealing with it, My mom was right by my side and there the whole time. She told me its gonna be okay. During my husbands funeral I recieved a phone call from the victims rights unit through Macomb County, she had told me that the charges have been filed and were as follows 1 count Operating under the influence causing a death. 1 count Failure to stop at the scene of accident with serious-personal injury. 1 count Operating while Intoxicated/impaired with presence of controlled substances 3rd offense and 1 count driving while license suspended. 3 felonys and 1 misdemeanor. I thought my husbands going to get justice. During the arraignment we found out he was on probation for a drunk driving in April 2011. We stayed in district court for 3 moths because he had warrents and all kinds of issues with his probation violation, finally the preliminary exam was done August 9, 2012 the next day I had my daughter. We finally had it bound over and went through a year of pre-trials and motions, and him firing his lawyer. His attorney tried everything, finally in December 2013 Judge Peter Macaroni worked out a deal with him. He got 18 moths time served, 5 years probation and 1 year zero tolerance probation and 1 year with a drug and alcohol teether. I was beside myself and so upset, a mans life worth only 18 months time served. When his sister and I went up at sentencing I took every picture I had even the pictures of his daughter he never had the oportunity to meet. I told him that he took a father away, two children will never get to have the walk down the isle because of your selfishness, two days later he walked out of jail, recently he violated his probation in September of 2014 and he is still not been sentenced for his violation. I'll never take for granted what I had and what i have now, I lost half my heart, my children lost their daddy. He gets to spend holidays with his family, he gets to spend time with his loved ones, we are left to mourn for the rest of our lives. This has effected my whole world I never thought I'd be a widow at the age of 25, a single mom of two, or even be spending the rest of my life wondering what it would have been like to still have him here with me.
Wife of Matthew Thompson
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The testimonies you are about to read are the words of individual victims that have chosen to share with you. As you read these words, know that it took courage, tears and a lot of prayers to be able to share this part of their life with you in hopes of making a difference and to be a voice for their loved ones and themselves.
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